Dialogue

By Renee Roszel

(author bio at end of this article)

One evening, while watching a Cagny & Lacy episode about phone sex, I said to my husband, "I wonder if I could do that?" He laughed. I was startled by the laugh and, being naturally insecure, I thought he laughed because the idea that I could successfully turn anybody on with words was so silly it was laughable. So I asked, "Why did you laugh?"

He shrugged and said, "Never mind." Time passed, and I grew more and more upset and insecure.

Finally I insisted, "What did you mean by that laugh! Don't you think I could do it?"

Well, he finally turned to me and responded, "Renee, you could talk to anybody about anything for any length of time."

This ability may or may not be a benefit when it comes to writing dialogue, because, though dialogue is in essence 'just talking' it is, ironically, in the context of literature, far from 'just talking.' Dialogue has a number of purposes—none of which is to fill pages with idle chatter.

To be honest, I don't have any idea what those purposes are. I never took a class in dialogue, and never found out. So I'll just tell you why I like dialogue, why dialogue is the most interesting and fun part of writing for me. Maybe somewhere in 'why' I like it we'll find its' literary uses.

First, I enjoy writing dialogue because it throws me right in the middle of the scene with these characters rather than keeping me on the sidelines. I become an intimate part of the story. Often, I AM the heroine.

Another thing I like about dialogue is that it makes the people real. Gives them personalities—by the kind of colloquialisms, pet words and phrases, clichés and quirks of language they use. These differences in dialogue reveal character, mood, goals, fears and therefore connect me even more closely to the story.

Third, the thing I like best about dialogue, is that it provides the most dramatic way to show conflict. This conflict can be expressed in real time, and passionately before our very eyes, be it with fury or humor.

Dialogue, to me, is like Whitney Houston singing 'Exhale.' She's the sparkle, the star of the piece. Her voice is the 'Dialogue' that brings the composition to life. The talented back-up singers going 'shoop, shoop,' the satiny strains of the violin accompaniment, the deep, sexy percussion beat, the charming counterpoint of a light, almost continuous pinging of a 'triangle' are all important elements. But Whitney's voice makes 'Exhale' live. That's what dialogue does for your book. It is the heartbeat.

Now, I hate to go to a class, myself, that doesn't teach. So when I speak or write an article, I always like to tell the audience how to do whatever it is I'm talking about. But teaching dialogue, for me, is like trying to teach swallowing. Nobody taught me, so I don't think I can teach you. My suggestion has to be, just—just try it. And keep trying.

I recently read an article about plot, where the author said the most common problem beginning writers have is to inflict upon the story's characters the author's needs, wants and actions, rather than really thinking about the CHARACTER'S needs and wants or what he would be likely to do.

The same thing holds true in dialogue. Try to get out of yourself and into your character. Think, "How would this guy talk? How would he react? What does he want to do here?"

Example: Let say your character is asking someone to go somewhere with him.

Your character is an English gentleman: How would he ask? "Pardon me, but would you care to have tea?"

He's a street punk. "Yo, Sweet thang! Get yo' fine self on over here."

He's a shy, math teacher. "Well—it—it occurred to me," he paused, fiddled with his thick glasses, "that is, there's a speech tonight in the Anthropology department you might enjoy—that is—if you're free."

Finally, my kinda hero. "Let's go, Miss Jones." He grabbed her hand more out of a need to be on his way than any apparent urge to support her. "I don't have all day."

You might not use any of these versions of dialogue in your real life, but would you inflict on your English gentleman or your street punk YOUR voice?

Your attitude, be it shy, aggressive, argumentative, wistful? You'd better not! You have to decide what YOUR CHARACTER would say. If you have no idea, watch a TV show where that kind of character might be featured, eavesdrop, or ask an expert—ask a cop about 'street' language or a high school teacher about 'teenage' talk.

Then distill! Distill! Distill. Cut your dialogue to the core. Once, I wrote a long paragraph of dialogue for the hero. I reread it and realized the guy sounded like a chatty nerd.

So I started cutting, and cutting, and cutting. Finally I ended up with two words. Those two words were the core of what I wanted to say. It got the point across and made the hero sound stronger—always a goal in romance fiction.

Less is more where dialogue is concerned.

Example:

"I'm going back to Havenhurst, Douglas!" Patricia lifted her chin in defiance. "You've treated me abominably, and I can't stand it any longer."

His eyes flashed fire. "Don't be a fool, Patricia! I won't allow it. You know if you do, it will all begin again. And I will come and get you. Nothing will be solved. Nothing!" He stepped toward her, taking her face between his big, hard hands. "Do you hear me, Patricia? I won't allow it!"

Less is more:

"I'm going back, Douglas!" She lifted her chin in defiance.

His eyes flashed fire. "No way!" Moving closer, he took her face between his big, hard hands. "No way." He had spoken so softly—like faraway thunder—that she could barely hear him. Yet she trembled, for those two hushed words had been no idle threat, they had been a solemn promise.

Give your reader credit. You don't have to spell everything out. And certainly, don't repeat in dialogue what the reader already knows.

René Daumal, the French poet and critic once said: "It is still not enough for language to have clarity and content, it must also have a goal and an imperative. Otherwise from language we descend to chatter, from chatter to babble and from babble to confusion."

Editors don't buy 'babble.' Readers won't stand for it, and paper is just getting too expensive!

Another important thing to remember about romance dialogue is to keep your dialogue romantic! It seems like a cliché, but even so, it's wroth repeating. Make your hero's voice deep, the kind of voice that sends a thrill up your heroine's spine. Make sure the words your hero chooses will exemplify his self-confidence and charisma.

As for your heroine, make sure her dialogue tells the hero she is feminine—a sensual, alluring being in her own, unique way—as well as a woman of depth and innate courage.

Whether the dialogue your hero and heroine share is quarrelsome or affectionate, make these verbal exchanges a vibrant, pulse-pounding base for sexual tension.

One final note: It has been called to my attention that some newer writers have decided the word 'said' is bad, a word to be shunned, a word to be replaced with 'growled, commented, snarled, retorted, hissed, responded, volunteered,' and the like.

This is not true. The rule should be, "If you can get by without an attribution, do." However, when in doubt, use 'said.' Said is most often read over almost without notice. Other, more unusual, words may cause the reader to stumble and lose concentration.

Sometimes these words are fine, but only occasionally. The dialogue itself should give the mood of the speaker, most of the time, without needing to add, 'gritted out through clenched teeth' or 'called angrily.'

Remember, give your reader some credit! They'll thank you for it, and your writing will be better for it, too.

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Renee's philosophy is: "When in doubt--eat." She also feels that if you're in a quandary over exactly what to eat, it might as well be chocolate. With this philosophy tightly in tow, Renee manages to live a relatively stress-free existence. That is, unless some thoughtless husband eats the last bit of chocolate and forgets to mention it, and it's two in the morning, and Renee finds herself in doubt (if you're confused here, refer back to 'Renee's Philosophy.').

Renee has worked at home, writing books, since her two sons were very small. She found that working at home gave her the best of both worlds. She could close herself in her office and yell, "Don't bother mother, boys!" and she could also, easily get to a refrigerator (refer back to 'Renee's Philosophy').

Oh, a codicil to Renee's Philosophy is, "Lie to your children about which is tastier, chocolate or fruit." When her darlings reached for one of her chocolate doughnuts, she shrieked, "No! Noooooooo! Don't have one of those nasty things. Have a yummy apple." Now, Renee admits she never dreamed she was actually being a good mother at these times of utter, blinding selfishness, but interestingly, her sons have grown into healthy, slender, marathon running young men with enviable cholesterol levels, a love for fruit and no need for fiber supplements in their diets. Go figure.

Renee likes to kid around a lot. She writes humorous romances. At least that's what she aims for. If you found yourself smiling at least once during this little Renee Exposé , then you might enjoy her books. If you didn't--if you scratched your head and fought an urge to clean your toenails--then I'd suggest you become pen pals with some of Renee's past editors. You have a great deal in common. Honestly, humor is extremely subjective. Renee tries, the poor dear, to please everybody. She tries and tries. She's still trying. If you enjoy her books, drop her an e-mail. I promise, it'll make the apple-puking, cholesterol-riddled, chocoholic's day.

ORDER RENEE'S BOOKS FROM TURN THE PAGE BOOKSTORE CAFE: Just copy and paste the appropriate book into the TTPageBC ORDER FORM , fill in the appropriate information, and email to TTPageBC@theromanceclub.com.

Make-Believe Marriage, Renee Roszel,Harlequin Romance, #3370, Published 1995, ISBN #0-373-03370-2 (Family Ties series)

To Lasso A Lady, Renee Roszel, Harlequin Romance, #3397, ISBN #0-373-03397-4 (Part of the 'Hitched' series)

Brides For Brazen Gulch, Renee Roszel, Silhouette Yours Truly, Published 1996, ISBN #0-373-52026-3

Getting Over Harry,Renee Roszel, Harlequin Romance, Published 1997, ISBN# 0-373-03448-2

To Marry a Stranger, Renee Roszel , Harlequin Romance, Published 1997, ISBN# 0-373-03470-9

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